{"id":4889,"date":"2022-02-12T16:26:30","date_gmt":"2022-02-12T16:26:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nmamuts.com\/?p=4889"},"modified":"2023-04-21T09:09:03","modified_gmt":"2023-04-21T09:09:03","slug":"el-cowboy-en-la-puerta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/2022\/02\/el-cowboy-en-la-puerta\/","title":{"rendered":"EL COWBOY EN LA PUERTA"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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<\/p>\n

(\u00a1Huid, Los Conejos Por Sevilla! \u00a1\u00a1\u00a1Huid por Sevilla mientras cuento esto!!!)<\/p>\n

Parece que quieren abrir un gimnasio en los terrenos T\u00eda Roseanne. Antes van a tener qu-\u00a1\u00a1\u00a1OEJ OREJAS OHE NO, SON RAPID\u00cdSIMOS!!! Joder, ya lo han inaugurado. Lo pone en ne\u00f3n:<\/p>\n

Gimnasio Arranca a Dakota Kid.<\/em>
\u00abLev\u00e1ntanos\u00bb.<\/em><\/p>\n

Pues eso, lev\u00e1ntanos.<\/p>\n

\u00bfC\u00f3mo lo hab\u00e9is hecho? Da igual. Cada m\u00e1quina del m\u00fasculo tiene su placa de metal, lo que la convierte en persona: \u00abF\u00cdJATE L. LAKE, ABOGADO\u00bb. Las colocan con precisi\u00f3n de caballo, \u00bflo ves? All\u00ed pone \u00abLevanta este brazo de dos kilos con tu brazo de dos kilos\u00bb. Otra persona. \u00a1Y qu\u00e9 bebidas! Garrick Bl\u00fa, Powerful Invitation To. Son tan en\u00e9rgicas que se beben entre ellas.<\/p>\n

Cuando eres lo suficientemente fuerte como para encarar la salida, el cowboy en la puerta rebusca entre una torre de pegatinas alta como su BE-LLE-ZA y te plancha la del \u00a1Ok!<\/em> multicolor con un golpe seco y doloroso en la misma TR\u00c1QUEA, SI ESO EST\u00c1 ALL\u00cd.<\/p>\n

Siempre se arrepiente, y se le deshace el culo de mimos. Un poco nervioso, te coloca con manos de Anabel unos auriculares tan grandes y nutritivos como unos cocos. El cowboy te acompa\u00f1a hasta la salida mientras suena el cassette conectado a los auriculares:<\/p>\n

\u00ab\u00bfQU\u00c9 TAL? \u00a1YO MUY BIEN! \u00bfQU\u00c9 TAL\u2026? YO ESTOY BIEN, \u00bfT\u00da C\u00d3MO EST\u00c1S? VAMOS, \u00bfQU\u00c9 TAL?, \u00bfME DAS UN BESO? YO TE HE DADO UN BESO\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Es la voz del cowboy.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(\u00a1Huid, Los Conejos Por Sevilla! \u00a1\u00a1\u00a1Huid por Sevilla mientras cuento esto!!!) Parece que quieren abrir un gimnasio en los terrenos T\u00eda Roseanne. Antes van a tener qu-\u00a1\u00a1\u00a1OEJ OREJAS OHE NO, SON RAPID\u00cdSIMOS!!! Joder, ya lo han inaugurado. Lo pone en ne\u00f3n: Gimnasio Arranca a Dakota Kid.\u00abLev\u00e1ntanos\u00bb. Pues eso, lev\u00e1ntanos. \u00bfC\u00f3mo lo hab\u00e9is hecho? Da igual. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4622,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-archivo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4889"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4889\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10346,"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4889\/revisions\/10346"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4622"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elsnousmamuts.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}